“Enough.” It’s a word that can reveal satisfaction, as in “Thank you waitress. That’s enough cream gravy!” It can also reveal bitterness. “I’ve had enough of his whining.”

Today, I’ve been confronted with the question, “Am I enough?” In ministry we rely on different things to fill our souls. We rely on ministry success to fill our souls. We also rely on community, family, and professional respect to fill our souls. Today, all those came crashing down. Not because anything major happened in my life. Yesterday was a normal, productive and encouraging Sunday at church. Even still, I am haunted by the question, “Am I enough?”

Am I enough to keep this ministry going? Am I enough to make sure our next big event happens? Am I enough to provide for my family? These doubts and questions fill our brains on an ongoing basis. They reveal a heart that is missing a central truth. At some point the numbers will take a dip. At some point your friends’ encouragement won’t give you the same warm fuzzies. At some point that student you are pouring into will make mistakes. If our heart relies on these externals to fill our souls, at some point we will be left with our hands in an empty cookie jar.

As I was wrestling with these feelings while mowing the lawn this morning, God spoke to me through the Mumford and Sons song, Awake My Soul:

“How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
This weakness I feel I must finally show”

In the midst of my questioning, God turned my question around on me. All this time, I had been asking, “Am I enough?” as if it were up to me to fulfill my heart’s longing. Instead God asked me, “AM I ENOUGH?” If God’s love for us is enough to fill our soul, then we can stand against the feelings of doubt and despair that comes with trying to live out our calling.

I am reminded of 1 John 3:1, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” God’s love for you and for me has overflowed in abundance. Is that enough to keep you going today? Is He enough? If you are waiting for something else to fill your soul, you will be left waiting for eternity. Only God, in His divine love for us, demonstrated by the Son and sealed by the Spirit can be enough for our longings and desires for acceptance and security.

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